Columbus's Accidental Check-In

Christopher Columbus is gearing up to sail the ocean blue, but this time he's armed with a glitchy GPS and an overconfident Siri. In this comic timeline, Columbus types “shortcut to India” into Google Maps, and off he goes – straight into the Bermuda Triangle of rerouting. Weeks into the voyage, his crew is begging him to just ask someone for directions (“Christopher, please, there's literally no Wi-Fi out here!”). But Columbus insists he's got this, trusting the “recalculating route…” voice that keeps echoing from the Santa María's enchanted tablet (aka his bewitched smartphone).

When they finally hit land, Columbus hops off thinking he's in India and immediately tries to check in on Facebook: “Feeling blessed at Somewhere in India.” The indigenous Taino people welcome him politely, though they're thoroughly puzzled when he keeps calling them “Indians.” One local points at Columbus's compass app, which is clearly showing “America” with a big dot labeled “You Are Here.” Columbus, however, leaves a 4-star Yelp review titled “Great samosas, weirdly tropical – India-ish?” and plants the Spanish flag like he just unlocked a Foursquare badge.

Back in Europe, Columbus becomes the world's first travel influencer. His blog post “10 Best Things to Do in 'India' (Oops)” goes viral for all the wrong reasons. While he brags about discovering a “new route,” his sailors are facepalming in the comments. This absurd scenario ends with Columbus hosting a Twitter Q&A where someone finally tweets, “Dude, you weren't in India 🙄.” Columbus replies with a shrug GIF, proving that even in the 15th century, some navigators just won't read the instructions.