Trojan Horse Goes Viral

It's the final night of the Trojan War, but in this alternate timeline the Greeks have upped their prank game. Instead of just hiding quietly, the soldiers inside the giant wooden horse are busy stealing Wi-Fi (courtesy of Athena's hotspot) to livestream their secret to a private Greek audience. Outside, the Trojans stand around the towering Horse snapping selfies, hashtagging #BestGiftEver, completely clueless about the chaos lurking inside.

King Priam even comments how the Horse will look great as a tourist attraction – “Troy's Next Top Monument,” he proudly proclaims while tagging the location. Little does he know, inside the horse a Greek soldier's smartphone just buzzed with a TikTok notification. One muffled ding! and the Trojans pause. “Did that statue just... ping?” a guard frowns. Another guard laughs, “Must be the wind or some ancient Bluetooth glitch. Don't worry about it.” They all shrug and resume their party, joking that the Horse might be haunted by Zeus's Alexa.

When midnight hits, the Greeks bust out of the wooden horse like it's a surprise birthday party. Streamers—actually, swords—everywhere! The Trojans, mid-celebration-post on Instagram, are caught totally off guard (and mid-filter). In this absurd finale, Troy falls not by brute force but by viral prank. Moral of the story: even in 1200 B.C., never trust a free gift with a hashtag, especially if it tags you back!